


Well call me a landlubber, 'cause I'm about to plunder your Treasure Island.

by tinypeckers



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-23 10:27:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3764731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinypeckers/pseuds/tinypeckers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron & Arryn, fearless Pirates, take another aboard their ship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Well call me a landlubber, 'cause I'm about to plunder your Treasure Island.

**Author's Note:**

> Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr you free this saturday? Because there's going to be another fic this morning.
> 
> I am officially the most lame person in the world. Love me, I need it.
> 
> Anyway, for more awful puns please prompt me at 2kficteen.tumblr.com / tinypeckers.tumblr.com

Barbara’s life was rather dull. She went to work, she came home and then she slept. That was the life of a pauper in her town. Barbara could barely afford the shoes upon her feet. She only managed to take a bath due to her boss’ kindness. Well, it was mostly due to the fact he was a huge pervert who liked to watch Barbara undress. She pretended not to pay attention to his stares as she’d climb into the tub. Barbara often felt lucky to have washed – even if it was in his old, cold and dirty water. It was required of her – she was a bar maid.

 

 

Barbara was expected to be clean, happy and presentable. So a shower was a must even if her customers did not abide to the same rule. Barbara often found herself fighting to keep from wrinkling her nose. A majority of her customers stunk of beer, dirt and the sea. It was obvious where they had come from. The bar at which Barbara worked was positioned right near the docks. There was no mistaking that the men that leered at her and begged for more booze were sea men. They were usually just visiting, passing through the dock to deliver goods and return to where they had come from. Barbara hated their presence. She was forced to listen and even smile at their awful pick up lines and jokes.  She often tried to ignore them and simply do their job. Sometimes they’d speak of such wonderful things that would catch Barbara’s attention. They’d keep her hanging off of their every word.

 

 

They spoke often of pirates. Barbara had only read of them in the newspaper or heard of them in passing. These men had claimed to have come in contact with them. Barbara was jealous of the, if she was honest. She dreamed of sailing the seas, free of responsibilities and men like her boss. Barbara wanted to become a pirate herself. She’d never tell anyone that – Barbara would be outcast before she could apologise. So she lived through these men’s stories. They were usually rather short, boring and dull. Some would claim that pirates had stolen items from their ship like grain, salt and so forth. It was all very boring to Barbara. She preferred to hear of the attacks they forced onto other ships. Barbara had spoken to one man who had lost an eye in one of them. It was all very interesting. There was one pair of pirates who were spoken of often and whom Barbara adored.

 

 

The first was said to be a beautiful, raven-haired maiden who called herself Arryn. She was more notoriously known as the Siren. Arryn wasn’t like the other pirates. She made her riches in different ways. Arryn made them by luring many men, and many women, onto her ship with adoring, simpering brown eyes. Arryn captured them with love. Once she’d got them upon her ship, completely at her mercy, she’d change. Arryn’s adoring expression would be gone in the blink of an eye and in its place there’d be a cunning expression. Those who survived her attacks, albeit without any money or usually clothes, rambled of how she’d tricked them and used them. They were often avoided after claiming to have been attacked by the Siren. Everyone believed that she’d come back for them, eventually, to finish what she’d started. To this date, anyone who had survived the Siren’s wrath had mysteriously disappeared not days after they’d claimed to have been her victim. It was presumed they were all dead.

 

 

Not all of her lovers found death upon Arryn’s ship. Her favourite, of course, was Aaron. Aaron had been nothing more than a young, over-eager stable boy when Arryn had seduced him. When she found nothing of value, Arryn had planned to kill him. Though many claimed that before she could bellow out the command to walk the plank, Aaron had rushed to her telescope. She had watched as he’d picked it up and peered through it. The boy was so excited he couldn’t stand still.

“Oh, this is so cool!” He’d exclaimed as he saw a close up of Arryn’s nose. Arryn couldn’t kill him then – he was too cute. That was how the story went, anyway. Aaron would prove useful, eventually. The salty air would harden him. In place of baby fat, muscles would form. His smile could calm anybody yet just as easily have them running for the heels. He was Arryn’s right hand man, her most trustworthy companion.

 

 

Barbara had fallen in love with them from the first news article. She’d seen sketches of them on wanted posters and torn them down. Barbara kept the crumpled papers tucked neatly under her bed of hay and itchy blankets. Sometimes Barbara liked to pretend that they’d kidnap her. She could be their third, she could help count their booty or maybe just be there really. Barbara heard that they only kidnapped beautiful. Barbara had been told, multiple times, that she fit such a description but had never believed it. She’d seen herself rarely in the reflection of the dish water at work or in the muck of her boss’ old baths. The images were often distorted and ugly and thus Barbara saw herself in such a light. She knew that to be abducted by Aaron and Arryn was nothing more than a dream.

 

 

oOo

 

 

When Barbara woke, she felt considerably different. For one, her usual bed of hay and blankets seemed to be missing. Barbara concluded that she must have rolled off and onto the planks of her floor. She stretched absently. The light through her window was shining far too bright – was the rapture finally happening? Barbara had never known it to shine so harshly upon her closed lids. Perhaps the strangest part of it all was not that she’d noticed all of these things but instead that people were speaking close by. Barbara, for all of her adult life, had lived alone. Never had there been anyone there to speak in the morning. Barbara kept her eyes closed for fear of alerting them of her presence. Ever curious, Barbara listened to what they were talking about.

 

 

“We can’t keep her.” A feminine, shrill and angry voice hissed. There was a pause.

“Well, why not?” A man asked. He sounded rather sad that he’d been shot down. Barbara wondered if that was a usual thing for him. Barbara heard the woman sighed heavily.

“Remind me again what we are?” The woman asked.

“We’re pirates.” The man groaned.

“Right and what do we do?” The lady demanded. Her companion seemed less than happy to reply.

“We steal things,” He replied, “beautiful things.” He added almost mischievously.

“Well, yes, I guess – we steal beautiful things.” The woman relented.

“Are you arguing that she is not beautiful?” The man asked.

 

 

It was then that Barbara realised that it was her that they must be talking about. Barbara wondered who had broken into her home to have this conversation. In fact, was Barbara even in her apartment? Barbara wanted to open her eyes, really, but she was too intrigued with their conversation.

“No, I’m not arguing that. I’m arguing that she hasn’t got a penny to her name nor a decent bath, if you smell her.” The lady replied in a stuck up fashion. Barbara was slightly offended.

“You smell like blood, guts and fish.” The man countered.

“Your point? We can’t keep her!” The lady insisted.

 

 

Barbara decided enough was enough. She opened her eyes. Barbara closed them not long after. The sun was bright, brighter than she had expected. Barbara groaned and covered her eyes with her arm. Her state of consciousness was brought to the attention of the people who had stolen her from her dingy little home.

“Oh great, now she’s awake.” The lady sighed.

“Let’s ask her what she wants.” The man replied.

“She’ll probably run screaming.” The lady muttered. Barbara  slowly pulled her arm from her face. She blinked a couple of times to adjust to the new light. When she looked up and saw who had taken her, Barbara about passed out once more.

 

 

Standing above her, albeit at an unflattering angle, were the two most beautiful people Barbara had ever laid eyes upon. They weren’t strangers – not by a long shot. Barbara grew red in the face. If they had kidnapped her had they seen the pictures she kept under her bed? Arryn seemed curious about the sudden redness to Barbara’s cheeks.

“Are you all right?” Arryn asked thoughtfully. Barbara wasn’t too sure. Her two dreams were standing above her. Barbara had been chosen to come onto their ship, despite being poor. Barbara wasn’t sure she’d ever be anything close to all right any time soon.

“I’m fine.” Barbara said airily. She attempted to sit up. Aaron helped her sit with a kind, warm smile. Barbara wanted to cherish the memory forever.

 

 

“Are you going to kill me?” Barbara asked. It was a logical question. She was poor, she had nothing on her. Arryn had said it herself. Yet now she looked almost sorry.

“I mean, we’d rather not.” Aaron confessed. This time Arryn did not correct him.

“Are you any good at anything?” Arryn asked rudely. Barbara thought long and hard.

“I’m quite good at waiting tables, serving beer and making alcoholic drinks… I’m pretty well balanced.” Barbara began to sell herself. What else was she supposed to do? Let the pirates kill her? No, Barbara could not sink like that. Besides, Barbara wanted them. Badly.

“Have you ever used a telescope?” Aaron asked thoughtfully. Arryn looked as though she had had the same train of thought.

“No but it can’t be that hard, right?” Barbara grinned.

 

 

Arryn smirked. Despite her initial protest, she was starting to believe Aaron had picked well with this one. Aaron seemed pretty smug with himself for it.

“Do you have good eye sight?” Aaron hummed.

“Oh, the best – I can spot a fly from a mile away.” Barbara boasted.

“Interesting.” Arryn hummed, “and you’re not afraid of heights?” Arryn asked.

“What? No, of course not!” Barbara wasn’t afraid of much. Heights were nothing to her.

“Perfect, welcome aboard – our new look out!” Aaron declared. Barbara couldn’t help but beam from ear to ear. She remembered who was really in charge and looked to Arryn to see her reaction. It seemed that she was in agreement.

 

 

“Yeah, welcome aboard.” The female pirate smiled. Barbara gushed. Aaron helped her stand rather than sit. Barbara cheekily grabbed his pecs to help herself balance. Aaron stifled his laugh.

“Is this for real?” Barbara asked in a daze. Arryn nodded. Barbara stared intently at the delicate hand the Siren had placed against her arm. It wasn’t threatening nor lethal, simply comforting.

“Of course, Aaron was getting a little bit boring to be honest. I needed a new treasure.” Arryn said with a wink. Aaron scoffed.

“I’m not boring, I’m just not a pretty girl.” Aaron pouted as though he regretted it.

“That’s true,” Arryn murmured, “now, Barbara – you said you were good at making drinks?” Barbara smirked and nodded eagerly.

“What can I get ya?” Barbara said cheekily. Arryn laughed at her boldness. Aaron was still dwelling on the fact he wasn’t a pretty girl.

 

 

oOo

 

 

Barbara’s life was quite amazing. She raided ships, she boarded her own and hung out with her lovers. That was the life of a notorious pirate. Barbara had so many pairs of shoes, she had an entire room on the ship dedicated to them. She bathed amongst the fish and, on occasion, a Siren and her accomplice. Well, it was mostly due to the fact they had huge crushes on her and liked to watch Barbara undress. She pretended not to pay attention to their appreciative stares as she’d dive into the sea wearing nothing but her birthday suit. Barbara owned a swimsuit, courtesy of Arryn. She just never wore it. Barbara was wild, free and crazy. It was expected of her – she was a pirate.


End file.
